


Won't Say It

by Rachello344



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 22:58:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7074058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachello344/pseuds/Rachello344
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroba is Shinichi's college roommate.  The problem is, whenever he goes back to his home in Ekoda, Shinichi misses him like a lost limb.  He tries not to think about it.  (Mostly, he fails.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't Say It

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last of my self-indulgent fic (for now), so I hope you guys enjoy! (And if you do, consider leaving a comment!!)

“Everything alright, Shinichi?” Ran asked. Shinichi didn’t bother to lift his gaze from his coffee.  He tried not to sigh, but evidently his expression gave him away.  Ran sighed for him.  “I guess not.  Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” What was there to talk about?  He hadn’t felt this horrible in _years_ , which could mean only one thing.  Silence settled over the table for a long moment.  Shinichi focused on not sighing.

“So, Kuroba, huh?”

So much for not talking about it. “Apparently.”

Kuroba had only been back in Ekoda for a _day_ and already Shinichi felt like he was missing a limb.  His chest ached, and he was _sad_.  Every time he thought the feelings would fade, he found something that he wanted to tell Kuroba and missed him all over again.  It was horrible.  He felt vaguely like crying.

Emotions were the worst, and he hated them. This one most of all.

“Listen, Shinichi, you know, you should probably tell him that you feel like this.” Ran sounded eminently reasonable.  Shinichi gave in and sighed.  “Who knows, maybe he’s feeling the same.”

“Maybe. Or maybe, it’s only the normal amount that you miss a close friend, not this soul-crushing _ache_.”  He froze.  Shit, that was definitely way too far.  He risked a glance, but Ran was still smiling, even if it looked a little sad.

“Oh, Shinichi.”

Shinichi dropped his eyes back to his coffee—Kuroba made it better. _Shit_.  “Like I said, I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“The last time it was like this was with me, wasn’t it.” Not a question.  He supposed he shouldn’t really be surprised, not with how long they’d known each other.  (He’d only known Kuroba properly for about three years, and already he was pathetically, hopelessly attached.  He wasn’t going to name the feeling.  He really, really wasn’t.)

“Don’t ask questions you know the answer to,” Shinichi muttered.

Ran stood and pressed her hand to the top of his head. “You should tell him.  But in the meantime, I hope you don’t mope too much, okay?  Maybe spend some time with Heiji?  I’m sure he’s missed having you all to himself.”

Shinichi waved tiredly as she left. He took a drink of his coffee, but it was already cold.  Kuroba would’ve laughed at the face he made, but Kuroba wasn’t here.

Shinichi missed him.

 

* * *

 

“Hello! Kuroba here,” he said, bright and cheerful.  The knot in Shinichi’s chest loosened at the sound of his voice, but he felt a little more like he might cry.

“Hey, Kuroba.”

“Kudou?” Kuroba’s voice perked up more, even as the tone shifted to something more familiar. “Are you alright?  You sound like shit.”

Shinichi laughed. “Fine.  I just…”  What had possessed him to call?  Hearing his voice was all well and good, but now what was he supposed to do?  What was he supposed to _say_?  ‘I missed you, and wanted to hear your voice?’  No, that wouldn’t fly.

“Hey, by the way, I think my mom’s getting ready to kick me out again. Do you mind if I stay with you for most of the summer?”

Shinichi felt lighter than he had in days. “What, she’s sick of you already?”

“You have no idea. Apparently, she thinks my ‘moping’ is ‘depressing.’  It’s hardly my fault that I miss you!”

The remainder of Shinichi’s tension left him in a rush. “I…  Me, too.  Of course you can stay with me.  I…  Any time.”

“Thanks, Kudou. You’re the best.”

 

* * *

 

Having Kuroba under the same roof again was like a balm on all of Shinichi’s useless insecurities and worries. Seeing him every day and knowing he was well and content was everything Shinichi had been missing.  He tried not to be obvious about how happy he was to fall back into routine, but it was difficult.

Going by the looks Kuroba kept giving him, he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Hey, Kudou, we’ve known each other for a while, right?” Kuroba asked, considering him carefully.

“Yeah.” Three years, one month, and three days, Shinichi didn’t say.  “Why?”

“Would you call me Kaito? It’s weird that we’re living together, but calling each other by surnames still.”

Shinichi’s face felt hot, but he was quick to nod. “Uh, yeah, sure, that’s fine with me.”

Kaito’s smile was wide and warm. “Great!  Then come help me cook, Shinichi, I need a hand stirring this.”

Shinichi had never been happier to stir noodles in his life.

 

* * *

 

Sometimes, the light caught Kaito in such a way that Shinichi was sure he was some kind of angel. Of course, he usually ruined the impression by being an asshole, but then, Shinichi could never be happy with someone that was perfect.

Secretly, despite that, Shinichi still thought Kaito probably was. Perfect, that was.

When Kaito caught him looking, he crossed his eyes and pulled a stupid face. Shinichi couldn’t help but laugh.  As soon as he cracked, Kaito followed suit, beaming and snickering in turn.

He loved him so much, that his whole being seemed to ache with it until he thought he was going to suffocate. But it was fine.  He was managing.  Just seeing him every day was enough.  It _was_.

 

* * *

 

They were pressed side to side on the couch, watching an old movie when the front door unlocked and opened. Shinichi frowned, glancing first at Kaito and then over his shoulder.  There were only three people not currently in the room who had keys.  Ran and…

“Shin-chan, we’re home!”

Kaito mouthed ‘Shin-chan’ at him with a shit-eating grin. Shinichi wanted to shove him, but he was more concerned with the fact that his _mother_ was home, and she’d said ‘we,’ meaning…

“Shinichi, do you have someone over?”

His father. He was so screwed.  If his mom didn’t notice, his dad would.  This was not good.

“Yeah, I thought I told you, my college roommate is staying with me for the summer.”

Shinichi froze as his mother dashed around the corner, her feet slipping in her haste. “Kuroba Kaito!  My, how you’ve grown.  Dear, isn’t he just the spitting image of Toichi?”

“You know my dad?”

“We go way back,” Yuusaku confirmed. “Old friends, of a sort.”

“Old rivals, more like.” Yukiko winked.  “Now, _I_ , on the other hand, am friends with your father.  He taught me everything I know about makeup and disguise.”

From there, the night devolved into an exchange of stories, the movie all but forgotten. Shinichi’s father gave him a single knowing glance, one that made it clear that he understood the situation at once.  His mother pulled him aside and hugged him.

“I’m so happy you and Kaito are dating, dear. He’s such a good boy, and you seem so happy with him.”

Shinichi’s blood ran cold and his chest felt tight. “We aren’t dating, Mom.”

She hmm’d at him, but otherwise looked unconvinced. Shinichi closed his eyes and restrained a sigh.  He was stronger than this.  He would survive.

 

* * *

 

After over a week of incessant questions and incredibly awkward dinners, his parents finally left. They were going to Rome for “research,” apparently.

After dealing with them for so long, Shinichi was admittedly lagging a little, mentally. So he was, he thought, understandably confused by the agitated air Kaito was exuding now that they were alone again.  Shinichi watched him from the couch as he fidgeted and started to move.  He was beautiful even in this, but Shinichi tried to stay focused.

“Okay, so I thought I could wait you out,” Kaito said, pacing the room, “but I was wrong. I definitely cannot wait you out.  You are the king of not saying anything.”

“What?” Shinichi asked intelligently.

Kaito leaned down and kissed him, firm and sure. When he pulled away, his hand was resting warm against Shinichi’s cheek.  Shinichi opened his eyes slowly.  Kaito looked anxious and embarrassed, but his hand and eyes were steady.  The longer Shinichi stared, the redder his cheeks turned.

“Oh,” Shinichi said with a slow blink, “I didn’t think… Really?”

“So suave,” Kaito teased, “the smoothest man I’ve ever met.” He sounded relieved; Kaito’s thumb stroked once over his cheek.

“Shut up,” Shinichi muttered leaning into it, “you love me.”

Before he could even freeze at the slip, Kaito laughed. “Yeah, I kind of do, actually.”

Shinichi couldn’t do anything but kiss him.

“We should talk, but I…” Shinichi scratched his fingers along Kaito’s scalp until he was shuddering.  “Can we talk later?  I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”

“I have no problem with doing both,” Kaito mumbled, finally sitting beside him and pressing him back into the arm of the couch. He grinned, sharp and dangerous.  “But first, I am definitely down with more kissing than talking.”

Shinichi smiled and tugged him closer. The room grew dark around them.  Shinichi supposed there were worse emotions than love.  His heart felt full and warm, and his head was swimming with euphoria.

“I love you so much.”


End file.
